Guest post: Wesley’s Story, my twins born at 27 weeks and overcoming mental health

Wesley has been writing updates on Facebook about the twins right from the moment Lisa found out she was expecting, his story has gripped me and many others and i wanted to document just a small section of what he has been writing. Wesley recently told me that when Lisa was in labor he frantically searched ‘twins born at 27 weeks’ so this is what has inspired him to document his knowledge. He has also had struggles of his own and is so brave to share his honest side of the story.Like he says in his posts if can help others then he’s done a good job.

Please get a cup of tea and some biscuits and read his amazing and bravely written story.

This is a post from when Wesley found out he was expecting twins;

29th July 2018

On this day last year in 2017 I had the worst mental breakdown I had ever had in my life and nearly my last.

I was in a bad place with drink, drugs and had the worst depression episode of my mental illness.

I was found hanging from a cheap belt in dirty hotel room unconscious on a door handle with blue lips at 9-10 am by my good friends who saved me.. billy jo, big Lou , and Tookey.

Luckily I hung myself sideways not forward so I had oxygen on my right side of my head which kept me alive the doctors said otherwise I be in a box.

I was at my lowest I’ve ever been

I was staying with my sisters in Kent in a small box room and

I had nothing I was 38…

My mum died from cancer

No kids..

No home…

Broke up with girlfriend ..

My car blew up…

My family home got sold…

My friend just killed himself ..

All the shit came on top and I gave up my struggle with my mental illness and it nearly took me no joke.

When I woke and see the support on Facebook from people

I felt embarrassed and shamed and weak but it’s not embarrassing or weak it’s a illness called depression and it’s a BIG REAL THING that’s takes life’s everyday

I lost 2 friends to this illness and nearly myself so this ain’t a game or cry for help, as people like to say, who have no idea what it feels like to sit in lonely room in tears and decide and carry out ending your own life. It ain’t fucking easy and takes a lot of balls and courage to actually let go and end your life. So all this crap stupid people say that “people that kill themselves are cowards” is BULLSHIT

Do you really think anybody wants to die .. No!

They do it because their in pain and can’t take the pain anymore

Not physically but mentally in pain and just want the pain to stop or turn off, that’s how I felt anyway,

If you have a mental illness drink and drugs don’t help at all and bring in more issues and depression too.

So after this day I promise to close friends and family I would never put them through that pain ever again of losing me like that

Scaring them and myself.

So WLG 2.0 was born …

After that day I decided and believed that I will get better and get all the things that I wanted or was crying about not having which made me down,

I don’t believe in tablets or medication

These slow you down and make it harder to recover , they numb you or make you believe you need them to feel better.

When in fact you was better before you was depressed and you wasn’t on tablets then

It’s all bullshit for money.

I got better the natural way

I focused on doing and getting the stuff I wanted rather then focusing on the stuff I never had.

I got better mentally by training hard in gym .. this help with natural brain buzz and focus and determination, then I changed my diet, eating fresh foods and in a routine everyday , this helps the brain and body be in sync together

And slept properly and in a routine with 7-8 hours sleep too this keep your brain in good working order too

I read the book .. the secret which teaches about positive thinking and making your thoughts real if you believe

If you are positive you attract positive things

If you put out negative thoughts

You make negative things happen too

Easy as that really.

Now a year to the day later in 2018

I can sit back and say ‘I AM HAPPY’

It’s been a good year

And my dreams have be granted to me

I got a good girlfriend who loves me ..

I got an empty flat and turned it into my dream..

I got good job and I’m the best seller …

I’m a chef now which I never expected

and I’m a interior designer too

And the last thing I’m going to be which I never thought last year, is

…I’m going to be a DAD to 2 identical twin boys

I’m over the moon.

So in December we’re waiting for the arrival of my sons

Sorry for the long message but I just want people to know who suffer with mental illness and addictions and issues

That life gets shit sometimes and you can’t see no way out, or make it better, feel trapped.

Your not, it does get better you just have to believe in yourself and clean your life up.

Sometimes your winning sometimes your losing.

If I can give one person a bit of hope and belief after reading this and get better from depression and addictions and change there life, it would all be worth it

No one has to suffer alone

Don’t get me wrong I am not BETTER or NORMAL now

I still have bumps I will never be better but I have to learn how to cope when I lose it and recover faster

A lot can happen in a year anybody can change their life round at any age

‘Never give up get your dreams’

I’m going to be a dad of twins

The twins

On October the 20th 2018 my 2 identical twins Jadyn and Gene were  delivered by emergency C Section at only 27 weeks old weighing a tiny 2.5 lbs.

Here are a few entries since the twins have been born

21st October

So it’s been very scary and mad few days not expected but I’m happy to say the Lester-green boys have arrived after only 27 weeks
Gene Lester-Green was born 20/10/18 at 22.38 and weighed 2.6lbs and
Jadyn Lester-Green was born at 22.39 and weighed 2.4lbs
All are doing good mum and 2 boys but got a long fight now to get these two strong
We can’t hold them for at least 10 days and they won’t come home for 100 days but their healthy and that’s all I care about 
I got 2 fighters and we will fight to get these boys home faster 

23rd October

So the news is Gene has a small brain bleed which is scary but doctors reassured us this is normal for prems in first 2-3 days, his other signs are strong so nothing to worry about yet
We will find out if we have something to worry about then I deal with it.
Good news is both boys have came off breathing apps and only have little tubes up there nose’s which is really good for baby’s this small in first 2-3 days in ICU which shows they are strong and fighters, they got fighting in their GENES (excuse the pun)
Last night they removed their face breathing apps and hats so we got a chance to see there real faces for first time
They are two handsome boys and me and mum are very proud
I love my boys and missus and proud of her for doing a good job. We didn’t get to hold the boys today but we take each day as it comes
But I did get good pic of boys without tubes all over their faces today so still “winning”

day 24 of this mental mind prison journey.
Nearly a quarter of the way through so getting there,
It’s just another see saw of emotions again. So many ups and downs it’s drains you, it’s like running a marathon. Well it is running a marathon but it’s in your head
Feel tired all the time.

So The good news .. we are back in Croydon and the move went well. It’s better to be back on the manor and helps mentally, the boys didn’t like their ambulance ride they were screaming all the way I think because of the vibrations and banging and noises scared them.

So that was upsetting for Lisa because I wasn’t allowed to go with them I had to go separately with my sister behind. Which I didn’t like but had to be done. The good thing was that the twins traveled together in same incubator for the first time alone which I liked and as soon as they met Jadyn punched Gene in face so was funny start
When boys arrived they were straight asleep all drained out from screaming so they settled quick which was good.

To be fair from what I’ve seen in mayday so far I’m very impressed. They have all new equipment and machines and looks nice and nurses are nice too. A lot better then St Mary’s so happy with move, I had doubts but there gone now very reassuring for us.
The boys met their grandparents and two aunties for the first time which was nice for everyone because only me and Lisa have seen them in real life so good to see the boys meet their family
But the nurses don’t know the boys and the boys don’t know them so I think it a step back in care, the nurses are asking me and Lisa what the boys like or don’t like .. how then lay or feed so we’re starting again but after a few days it will be ok. Once we get the boys settled in.

The boys don’t know the nurses voices only ours, so as much as I want to we aint going home. we’re staying over the road in hotel 5 mins walk away, it’s a downgrade from London with nutty tramps hanging about outside but I don’t care and I ain’t going home till I know there OK and settled. It’s hard living out of bags but I’m not leaving them in new place and new people alone, no way
Also I’ve learned that breast feeding is a big step in getting boys home, babies don’t learn this till there 34 weeks and boys are only 30 so long way off but I’m telling ya, I’m on a mission now. I’m sacrificing my skin to skin time with boys and letting Lisa do it so I can train them to breastfeed
I promise ya these twins will be breastfeeding in 2 weeks time at 32 weeks that’s my goal and focus now.
Now the bad shit news ..
Today boys breathing been really bad,
They keep doing that stop breathing thing where the red lights flash the alarms go off and nurses cum running in. This just scares the shit out of you every time, before it was just Jadyn but now it’s gene too. the travelling didn’t agree with them. Hospital saying they might need to go back on oxygen which is a step back and disappointing but I have to remember the boys are 3 months premature and only weigh 2-3lbs so it’s expected and if they need to they have to do it is what it is .
So like I said another up and down few days
Tomorrow is day 25 and there 75 more to go but I’m up for this challenge and I won’t stop till their home
So bring on tomorrow let’s do this ..

I just want people who are going through this to see what its like and try and help them through their journey

like the videos helped me

Before the twin were born

I was scared and knowing there’s a happy ending

Helps people

I ain’t finished my journey yet but I think I through the worst of it boys just need to grow now

Had few scares but out of the darkness now I hope

click here to support my GoFundMe campaign, Raise Money For My Premature Twins: https://www.gofundme.com/6b4hqu0?pc=fm_co_dashboard_a&rcid=cf4bde46aabd49b7a17810bb890b6877

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2 thoughts on “Guest post: Wesley’s Story, my twins born at 27 weeks and overcoming mental health

  1. Wow. This is so beautiful. What a story.. It’s so nice to hear it from a mans perspective. “giving up my skin to skin time” really shows just how important that is for him. I always new it was important for Jack to have this but never really considered how Jack felt about this time.

    Suffering from Depression myself in the past and having it feel as if it’s slowly creeping back into my life is a scary really scary thought. I’ve not been myself for a good 6 weeks, and it really defeats me. Makes me feel like I’m wasting life but this post has reminded me “I got through it once I can do it again. I was better off after and I will be better off after this time”.

    I do have to disagree with the medication thing though, I believe if you really really feel you need that extra help because you have more dark thoughts that you do good. and I mean DARK thoughts. Than medication could save you, and help you on your way to save yourself.

    Still an incredible man.

    Thanks for sharing Natalie xx
    Holly x
    http://heyitsok.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

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